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complete list of  editorials:

2004 election    *    "Sanctity of Life" is a "false doctrine"      *    Abortion       Divorce

God's Purpose for Hurricane Katrina    *   Why Do Muslims Hate Jews?   *   Masturbation

The Meaning of Life    *   Why Churches Don't Have Unity    *    Who Can Be Saved?

Can you love Jesus too much?

Forward

Some years ago, I was visiting a large church, for the first time.  While I was standing in the lobby and admiring the architecture, a man that I had never met came near and began a conversation.

The conversation bounced from subject to subject without any apparent aim.  It has been my observation that this type of conversation is really just small talk that is a prelude to the real subject.  I just nodded my head, at appropriate times, and waited.

Finally, the man got to his point.  I don’t remember the exact conversation but, in essence, he told me that his life was going really well.  He was there with his family on vacation.  His job was good, his family was doing well and that they were all prospering.  Then he said, “I just have one little problem – with masturbation”.

Well, my mind was completely blown.  Here I am in a place that I have never been talking to a man that I have never met and he is telling me that he has a “little problem” with masturbation.  In fact, the man must have a “huge problem” with masturbation or he wouldn’t be so desperate to find a solution.

The discussion seemed to last forever but was probably about ten minutes long.  At that point the church service had started and I took the opportunity to exit.  Before I left, I gave the man some advice about how I thought he could overcome his problem with masturbation.  I will repeat that advice later in this letter.

 ********

I immediately began to wonder about why this man had chosen me to speak to.  What had I done wrong?  Perhaps he thought I worked at the church.  I decided, then and there, that I should stop wearing a jacket and tie to church so that I wouldn’t look like an authority figure.

Another thought that occurred to me was that God had directed the man to me.  This was not the first time that something like this had happened.

For some years, I had been attending a church with approximately 100 members.  The pastors were into the typical Christian Church doctrines that focused on the man being the head of the family.  As a part of the man’s training for his leadership position, the pastors were holding the typical “men’s meeting” every Saturday morning.

It has been my impression that most men’s meetings are just an excuse for the men to get away from their wives and their Saturday morning chores.  Since I am not married, I considered the meetings to be a waste of time.

After much badgering, by the pastors, I decided to attend the “men’s meetings” for a while.  I was concerned that I might be in rebellion, if I did not comply.

Everything went well for the first few Saturdays.  Then one Saturday, the pastors decided that all of the men would discuss their “worst problem” with the other men.  Each man would meet one-on-one with another man.  After sharing their worst problem” with that man, they would move to another man and again share that problem.  The end result was that every man told ever other man about his “worst problem”.

Needless to say, I had a bad day.  My dislikes for “men’s meetings” were affirmed and deepened.  I avoid them whenever possible.

I don’t remember what my own “worst problem” was.  I do remember that it paled in comparison to the “worst problems” that I heard.   By far, the most common “worst problem” was masturbation.  Much of the leadership of the church had a “little problem” with masturbation.

That knowledge, though disturbing, gave me some insight into the pattern that I had seen in the church’s spiritual life.  The worship was great, the preaching was great, but no one was being saved and the church was not increasing in number.

Masturbation is about sex with your self and there are never any children from that encounter.  The problem of masturbation in the natural was mirrored by a problem of masturbation in the spiritual realm. 

The main purpose of worship should be to make God feel good.  If the main purpose of worship becomes making self feel good, then, that is the spiritual equivalent to masturbation.  There will be no offspring from such an encounter.

Even great preaching will be worthless, if there is no spiritual power behind the words.  The words will be like arrows that will fall to the ground without striking the heart to change lives. 

I began to suspect that the Christian Church, at large, has a “little problem”, with masturbation.

Scripture

I don’t know of any instance where the Bible speaks about masturbation. 

What does that mean?

I believe that it means that masturbation, by itself is not a sin.

Certainly, if masturbation was a sin like fornication or adultery, God would have told us so.

Discussion

When is masturbation not a sin?

Let us see if we can find some circumstances where masturbation would not be a sin.

What if a married man was in the military and was sent to a remote base in Antarctica for a year.  What if that man and his wife discussed the issue of sex and agreed that it would be “OK” to masturbate as long as they were thinking of the other spouse. Would there be any sin in that?  I don’t think so.

What if a spouse became disabled and could no longer have sexual intercourse.  What if the two discussed the issue and agreed that masturbation was acceptable for the other spouse, as long as the thoughts were about their spouse.  Would there be any sin in that?  I don’t think so.

What if a spouse no longer desired sexual intercourse or could not have sexual intercourse for a medical reason, such as pregnancy.  What if they discussed the issue and agreed that it would be “OK” for the other spouse to masturbate, as long as the thoughts were about their spouse.  Would there be any sin in that?  I don’t think so.

 *****************

Are there times when it might be a sin to masturbate?

Yes, because Jesus raised the standards for righteousness above the Law of Moses.  According to the teachings of Jesus you are not only sinning if you commit the act of adultery – you are sinning if you even think about it. (See the verses from Matthew Chapter 5 below.)

 27  "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.    28  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  

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What if the individuals, who are masturbating, are not married?  Since they are both unmarried, there could be no adultery.

That is correct.  It would not be adultery, but it would be fornication. Fornication is also a sin that leads to death.  Sexual relationships between people are reserved for marriage.

 *****************

Can unmarried people engage in masturbation without sin?

I don’t know.

What are you thinking about while masturbating?  Can you keep your thought life pure during that process?

According to God’s standards, lusting after a married woman is like committing adultery in your heart.  The overall consequences are obviously not as bad, as the consequences of the actual act of adultery, because the damage caused by the sin is confined to the individual with the lustful thoughts.  Nevertheless, the individual with the lustful thoughts has damaged their relationship with God.

My thought is that a person would certainly have a stronger spiritual life if they did not masturbate. 

When God has made you perfect you will not masturbate.

 *****************

What if the burning is just too great and marriage is not possible?

In my estimation, it would be better to masturbate than to fornicate or commit adultery.  Adultery is the worst choice because it is a double sin – not only are you having illicit sex, you are also stealing something that belongs to someone else.

The individual that masturbates will suffer loss.  

There will be a loss of spiritual power any time that sin is involved, in the masturbation process.  Even if there is no sin in the process of masturbation, there will certainly be a loss of spiritual power because the individual did not overcome the flesh.

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The good news is that God is a God of love, mercy, understanding and compassion.  He is longsuffering and patient.

If the burning is too great and a person masturbates for relief, they should make every effort to be pure in their thoughts.  Then that person should ask God to forgive their sin and weakness and request that the Holy Spirit would work in them so that they will become the person that God wants them to be.

But, before you give up and masturbate, try the technique for resisting temptation, which I discuss below.

Conclusion

For many years I have lived by the same advice that I gave to the man who approached me in the church to discuss his “little problem” with masturbation.  This technique, for resisting temptation, has worked for me and I expect that it work for any person with any problem.

The underlying principle, of the technique, is that:

 Jesus and sin cannot exist in the same place at the same time.

If a person is having thoughts that are leading toward sin, the thoughts can be stopped by bringing Jesus into the midst of the thoughts. 

There are a number of ways of bringing Jesus into one’s thoughts.  One very effective way is to begin to say the name “Jesus” either silently in the mind or aloud. 

The person may have to continue to repeat the name “Jesus” for some time if the problem is deeply rooted.   The process will need to be repeated every time the unclean thoughts return.  Gradually the thoughts will become less frequent and will eventually be driven out.  This technique will also work in dreams.

I guarantee results.  If a person will continue to say the name “Jesus” the unclean thoughts will have to leave.  Evil cannot exist in the same place as the name of Jesus.

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Here are some scriptures that affirm the power of the name “Jesus”

…these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name. (NIV - John 20:31)

…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; (NIV – Philippians 2:10)

Grace and peace be with you.

 ©Terry Lefler, 08/2006  All rights reserved