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divorce editorial |
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complete list of editorials: 2004 election * "Sanctity of Life" is a "false doctrine" * Abortion Divorce God's Purpose for Hurricane Katrina * Why Do Muslims Hate Jews? * Masturbation The Meaning of Life * Why Churches Don't Have Unity * Who Can Be Saved? Forward
It seems that divorced people are second class citizens in the Christian community. Jesus said that there is only one sin that will not be forgiven and it is my understanding that the unforgivable sin is to judge the work of the Holy Spirit as being evil. Still, divorced people are judged as sinners who continue in their sin if they remarry. Some pastors forbid the divorced to remarry. If they are going to be married, they must return to their original spouse. Pastors admonish their youth that they should not marry a divorced person because they would be committing adultery. The meanings of Biblical scriptures, especially the teachings of Jesus, concerning divorce are especially important to me, since I have been married twice and divorced twice. After years of prayer, study and thought, I have formed the following understanding of the scriptures concerning divorce.
Scripture
The Old Testament
God hates it when people break vows. God said:
Under Old Testament law it was easy for a man to divorce his wife. All he had to do was to write her a certificate of divorce. The Law of Moses says:
The New Testament
The Teachings of Jesus:
Jesus said: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. (NIV – Matthew 5:17) However, the teachings Jesus concerning divorce were very different from the Law of Moses. Jesus said: "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (NIV – Matthew 5:31, 32)
When Jesus was confronted by the Pharisees, who asked Him: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?", Jesus said: "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (NIV - Matthew 19:4-12) [The same conversation was described in Mark Chapter 10 verses 2-12][see also Luke 16:18] *********
How could Jesus say: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. (NIV – Matthew 5:17) and then make such radical changes to the Law of Moses?
It seems that the Law of Moses was developed through a process that included some negotiation between God and Moses. God was willing to tolerate, temporarily, a lower standard for righteousness. The rules, in the Law of Moses, concerning divorce were, perhaps, the most egregious of these compromises.
When Jesus came, He didn’t come to fulfill the Law of Moses, but rather the pure law of God. These laws not only take into account a person’s actions but also include the “intentions of the heart”.
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By looking at the context of the divorce teaching in Matthew Chapter 5, we will be able to better understand that: 1) Jesus was bringing the pure law of God and 2) that God’s law was much more demanding than the Law of Moses.
From Matthew Chapter 5: 17 "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
Murder21 "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. 25 "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny. Adultery27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Divorce31 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. Oaths33 "Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34 But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. An Eye for an Eye38 "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' 39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Love for Enemies43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
The revised law according to Jesus In order to surpass the righteousness of the Pharisees, a person not only had to obey the Law of Moses but also had to have a clean heart. You not only can’t commit adultery, you can’t even think about it. The original standard for righteousness was “Be perfect” (see verse 48) and, the teaching of Jesus again raised that standard for righteousness above the Law of Moses. If the people couldn’t be righteous under the Law of Moses, how were they to be righteous under the standard that Jesus gave to “Be perfect”. How can people "be perfect"? - The answer is that it is not possible for us to “Be perfect”. Even if we could avoid committing adultery, we have no hope of avoiding lust, because our hearts are deceitfully wicked: The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (KJV – Jeremiah 17:9) That is exactly why we need a savior. There is no hope of meeting God’s standard for perfection unless we have help. That help comes in the form of: 1) Jesus becoming our sacrifice for sin and 2) in the help of the Holy Spirit working righteousness in our hearts.
********* Since the teaching on divorce, in Matthew Chapter 5, is given to us in the midst of a list of laws that are impossible for us to keep, we should understand that the law about divorce is also impossible for us to keep?
His disciples realized how difficult the new rule was and said: (NIV – Matthew 19:10-12) 10 ......"If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." 11 Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
And so, it is better for people not to marry but not everyone can live like that – only those who have been give the grace of God to be celibate can be celibate.
What does that mean for the divorced man or woman? The scripture would seem to indicate that they must remain celibate for the rest of their lives, or else, be reunited with their original spouse. If the divorced person remarries are they not committing adultery? And does the adultery continue every time they are intimate with their new spouse?
Consider that it is not the sexual intercourse that causes people to become one in marriage. It is the marriage vow.
When Jesus spoke with the woman at the well of Samaria, and instructed her to bring her husband, she said: "I have no husband," she replied. Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true." (NIV – John 4:17, 18) Jesus recognized all five marriages as valid covenants and declared that the sexual relationship that she presently had with another man was not a marriage.
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When God said that He hates divorce, His concern was for the breaking of the marriage covenant. "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. (NIV - Malachi 2:16) It is the breaking of the vow, or being unfaithful to your promise, that God hates. That is why the rule on divorce is immediately followed by an admonition to refrain from making vows in Matthew Chapter 5. (see above)
Does that mean that it would be better to live with someone without taking the marriage vow? No! That is the sin of fornication and is a sin leading to death.
Breaking the marriage vow, by divorce, is a serious sin that must be atoned for in the same way that the sins of adultery or murder would be atoned for. How do you atone for sin? Remember how King David atoned for his sin of adultery and murder. King David repented of his sins of adultery with Bathsheba and the subsequent murder of Bathsheba’s husband. David was immediately forgiven by God. Even though God forgave his sin, David and his household were severely punished, before God re-established him. (see 2 Samuel Chapter 12) Since divorce is discussed right after murder and adultery, in Matthew Chapter 5, we can assume that the divorced person's process of repentance, forgiveness and restoration would be the same as King David's ? The divorced person must go before God and repent of their sins. (There may be a number of incidental sins involved, such as adultery and lying.)
The process of repentance includes:
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How about the person who was divorced without a cause and against their will? In this case, there is no sin unless the individual chooses to remarry. If they decide to remarry they must repent for the sin of “breaking a vow”. A vow has been broken. A serious sin has been committed. The divorced person must repent and ask for forgiveness. According to the Bible, God will forgive them.
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What next? What should/can you do after you are forgiven? Does God require that the divorced person return to their original marriage partner? No. Seek God’s particular will for your life, but, God probably didn’t order you to marry that person and He will probably not order you to go back. The choice to marry, and who to marry, is usually left up to the individual.
Does God require that a divorced person remain celibate unless they return to their original marriage partner? No. Jesus said, concerning celibacy: …."Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (NIV – Matthew 19:11, 12) Only those who are given a special grace, by God, are able to live a celibate life.
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What is God’s will for you? When Jesus was speaking with the woman who was caught in the act of adultery, He said: “….Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. If this is God's instruction for the person that committed adultery and has been forgiven, then it is also the instruction for any other sin, including divorce? “Go and sin no more.” *********
Conclusion This is what divorced people have done wrong. The sin was in the breaking of the marriage vow.
These are instructions for the future of the divorced person:
********* There will be consequences for sin. There certainly will be consequences for the broken marriage vow. There will be relationship losses for the children and extended families. There may be financial losses and emotional stresses that will last for years. Divorce may also bring about consequences within the Christian Church. In a number of places, the New Testament requires that a pastor or elder be “the husband of but one wife”. (see 1 Timothy Chapter 3, Titus Chapter 1) That requirement may be interpreted to mean that the person cannot ever have been divorced.
©Terry Lefler, 08/2006 All rights reserved complete list of editorials: 2004 election * "Sanctity of Life" is a "false doctrine" * Abortion Divorce God's Purpose for Hurricane Katrina * Why Do Muslims Hate Jews? * Masturbation The Meaning of Life * Why Churches Don't Have Unity * Who Can Be Saved?
Questions or comments? Contact me at: or web site links Copyright Terry Lefler, 6/2005, 3/2006 All rights reserved
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